I’m not sure what England did to deserve the weather we are experiencing at the moment, but whatever we did, it was bad. Maybe the Almighty is cross about the Olympics being rammed down his throat at every tenuous opportunity? Maybe it’s the current trend for skintight, teeny tiny dresses with holes cut out of them? I actually saw a replica of the dress Julia Roberts wears at the beginning of Pretty Woman in Miss Selfridge the other day. I’m not sure I could have squeezed my arm in it. Or maybe it’s the abuse of science on supermarket shelves called ‘chocolate philadelphia’? Witchcraft, I tell thee. And not the good kind.
Whatever we did, we are paying for it with drizzle. But I’m not going to let it get me down. Yes, it’s depressing, but, on the bright side, I don’t have to worry baring my Casper-toned flesh. Swings and roundabouts.
So instead of dwelling on the precipitation, I’ve decided to write a list of the good things in life at the moment. Who doesn’t love a list?
1) Fish finger sandwiches. The ultimate comfort food – but you’ve got to do it right. Lots of margarine and mashed up fish fingers on white bread. Get it as close to baby food as possible and you’ve cracked it.
2) This picture. I nearly wet myself.
3) 50 Shades of Grey. I may have read all three books. In a week. I feel a bit grubby. It was worth it though. I was a bit unsure after the first one – yes, the writing is a tad painful, but the story hooks you in. Its a bit (ok, lot) racy, but the best thing is the story. Even if your boyfriend insists on shouting at you: “Dinner is ready, pause the pornography!”
4) The bunny onesie. Still the best thing I have ever bought. Even if Mort tried to bite the tail. Just don’t be grumpy when you’re wearing it – it’s very difficult to convince your partner that you are annoyed and rightfully so when dressed like a huge baby.
5) And speaking of buying things, look at this. JUST LOOK AT IT. I need this in my life. If you do too (and why wouldn’t you?) visit notonthehighstreet.co.uk
6) Retro cheesy music. I have downloaded the R Kelly classic She’s Got That Vibe onto my iPhone. Im not exaggerating when I say that it’s probably the best song ever recorded. My 45-minute journey to work was practically fun today, as I bopped around to that song the entire way there. You get extra points if you remember to shout out the “WOO!” at the right moment near the start. Brucey bonus points if you scare the man next to you at the traffic lights witless, when he turns his head at the wrong moment to see you shouting said section in his direction through the glass, and then do a little fist-pump in celebration for sounding exactly the same as R Kelly.
7) Horse riding. Still epic. I cantered yesterday. I say ‘I’ did – I just held on for dear life as the horse did all the work.
8) Check out my new stomps. I should lie and say they are designer, but I’m going to share the joy – £6 from Primark. BOOM. They were a bit tight when I first put them on, but who needs feeling in their toes for shoes this pretty? They even make my feet look small – £6 for an optical illusion is money well spent in my book. Nosy Dachshund not included.
9) New friends. Mort had a man-date with another Dachshund called Walter yesterday.
Me and Mort met Eve and Walter at the Dachshund UN, and yesterday we met up at the Clent Hills for a brilliant walk. Mort got to hang with one of his own elongated kind, we had the best bacon sandwiches ever and generally had a lovely time. We had such a good time that we have set up a little Facebook page for everyone else with a Dachshund in the area – hopefully we can all share photos and chat, but it would also be great to meet up for walks. It’s really a support group in disguise, but if you live in the Midlands (or anywhere nearby) stop by and say hello: www.facebook.com/WaltAndMortsDachshundWalks
10) And, finally, the best thing in most of my days – chatting to you all and writing a new blog. Excitingly, I have also updated the look of The Wiener Takes It All – I figured that we were due a little makeover.
Hope you are all having lovely Mondays (as lovely as a Monday can be) – let me know what good things are on your lists at the moment. And feel free to steal some of mine if you need a pick-me-up. I personally recommend dancing to She’s Got That Vibe while eating a fish finger sandwich. Rock and roll.