So. I have a question to ask.
Is it wrong to be jealous of how photogenic your dog is?
I recently downloaded an app called Instagram that is oh-so clever. It puts various filters in front of your photos to create beautiful affects. Which comes in useful, as my generation of iPhone is as old as the sun, and takes rubbish pictures.
And suddenly, someone who already had an extremely attractive face in photos, was given another massively unfair advantage.
It’s ridiculous how good looking Mort is. I know all dogs are beautiful – but have all dogs been chased down the street by a gaggle of screaming teenage girls? I’m pretty sure they weren’t chasing me. And I’m nearly certain that they weren’t chasing Dan – although Dan likes to keep this possibility open.
Another unfair advantage is that Mort knows how to work the camera.
Just look at him. Disgusting, isn’t it? This, ladies and gentlemen, is what you would look like if you slept 23 hours a day.
Mort’s beauty was recognised further this week, when he stepped a little further towards taking over the world. One Christmas jumper at a time.
As documented in this blog previously, I decided to inflict a special level of humiliation on Mort with a festive jumper. He looked good in it and he knew he looked good in it – as the X Factor judges would say, he smashed it. Upon perusing Twitter that night, I saw that the amazing online shop ASOS was calling for pictures of people in Christmas jumpers. I threw caution to the wind, uploaded a picture of Mort and then promptly forgot all about it.
Several days later, I received this text from my sister: “Ok, so I just logged onto Facebook, and guess what’s on ASOS’ page with 108 likes?! Only Mort in his Christmas jumper! Totes amaze balls!”
Yep Mort is there, in all his glory, rocking his jumper: http://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.10150422011718736.357060.10936503735&type=3
To date, he has 260 likes and lots of comments – several of which proclaim that they want to buy him, which is slightly worrying. A couple of people predictably say ‘Poor dog’. To which I would reply: ‘Poor dog?! He’s wearing a stripy jumper, in front of a roaring fire – he’s hardly one of the dogs on the RSPCA advert, is he?’
So, there you go. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Mort is in a perfume advert, or hanging out with rock stars, of throwing a shoe at his assistant’s head…