The best thing about writing a blog is gawping at your stats, and seeing how many people have read it. Nothing warms the cockles more than realising that people have taken the time to ponder what are essentially the rantings of a mad dog owner.
One AMAZING thing about the glorious stats section is the information provided on the search engine terms that have led people to my blog. For instance, today I learned that someone had stumbled across my blog after searching for ‘ugly people yawning’. I’m pretty certain I have never written about this. Also, I think some clarification is needed – do they want unattractive people yawning, or ugly depictions of yawning? Because I don’t think I have ever seen an attractive yawn.
Here are some other favourites. I hope that these people eventually found what they were looking for – I’m not sure how much my blog would have helped….
‘Do women ever jog without ponytails’
Well, dear reader, I can’t imagine my blog wasn’t much help in this department. However, in order to help you with your enquiry, I can confirm that sometimes women do jog without ponytails. The women on The Only Way is Essex exercise without ponytails, with a face plastered in make-up and, when they really want to make it completely clear to everyone how seriously they are taking their exercise, high heels. I, myself, have dabbled in running without a ponytail, but I wouldn’t recommend it. There is the tendency to blind yourself if the wind is in the wrong direction, or sometimes your hair gets a bit sweaty, which is never a good look.
‘Roald Dahl pyjamas Esio Trot’
I have no idea what these are, but I definitely want some. If this person ever finds these pyjamas, please let me know, because they sound immense. There aren’t enough varieties of sleepwear with tortoises on them, in my opinion.
‘My dachshund has something growing on the side of his eye’
Yikes. I really hope this person googled ‘local vets’ next. Fingers crossed the growth has been seen to. I hope this was a growth from the sty-family, and not something more serious, like a second head.
‘Man faced woman’
A proud day for me and my face. I REALLY hope my blog wasn’t any use for this person. If they found exactly what they were looking for, I think I might go hide in my wardrobe for a bit.
‘Mort the sausage dog blog’
Thumbs up to this person. Infamy will soon be ours.