Like many handsome men, one of Mort’s vices is women. And it goes without saying that he is a pretty big hit with the ladies – shiny coat, deafening bark, belly one inch from the floor – what’s not to love? But although he likes to flirt with pretty much any female dog that walks past (and a good percentage of the males), there will always be one special lady in his life.
And can you blame him? Jenny is hot to trot. And Mort likes his ladies big and ever so slightly stupid – read into that what you will. Now I would like to say that Mort is the perfect gentlemen and buys her flowers, opens doors for her and showers her with Jumbones. No such luck Jenny. When he isn’t dangling from her ears or giving her ‘love-nibbles’, causing her to yelp, he is attempting to impose some ‘Dachshund love’ onto her, without so much as saying hello. To date, Jenny has let the two former attributes pass, and barely noticed the latter (poor Mort), but I’m sure it’s only time before Mort is subjected to a rant about how he doesn’t understand her, and never buys her flowers anymore.
But despite all this, they love each other unconditionally. Jenny puts up with Mort’s typical blokey behaviour, and Mort gives her kisses when he thinks no one is looking. So, lady dogs, if you’re out and about and Mort puts the moves on you (read: barks at you and then attempts to jump on top of you like a spidermonkey) don’t get too attached – he’s taken.

